Trends

Yep, the college kids are back, and I'm already hoping for their springtime departure.

I saw the most amazing thing the other day, just as the students were coming back to school... I pulled into Home Despot (Home Depot) after work, to swing in and grab a few items. Just as I did, a brand new SUV pulled in next to me, with two college dudes in it. They hoped out of their car, and then I noticed, both reached into the back seat, pulling out their new skateboards. Uh oh... what's going on here? I had to follow. The two dudes proceeded to wander around the store, carrying their skateboards for all to see. I had nothing going, so I followed them, hoping they were looking for a single nut for their trucks or something like that - even though there are 15 or so trendster skateboard shops all over Boulder that could help them out AND (most importantly) they'd have been seen at the shop, if they went there. Hell, it's not even like they were tempted by the huge concrete floor in such a place, and brought their boards inside for a few rebellious rolls through the ailes. And not that I would have ever, back in the day, broken into the burnt down and currently under construction remains of a hardware store near me, just because of the tens of thousands of square feet of glass-smooth concrete.

Anyway... no such freakin' luck. They literally wandered around, carrying their boards for all to see, before settling on some lovely potted trees that were going to look lovely in their new feng shui oriented new college housing. Fucking poseurs.

The latest horrifying trend that has caught my attention on campus is the return of the high-waisted pants and skirts. Look, I know, you have this new-found trendy affinity for everything from the 80's, decade before the one in which you were born. I totally get that you've already bought your shutter shades...

You probably bought your big fat day glow sneakers because your older brother told you he heard they were "brill"

Heck, if you're really into being a hipster, you might have purchased yourself a Casio keyboard, grabbed your most hipster friend, and started a band that is based mostly around mis-guided fashion and shitty synthesised pre-recorded rhythms;

But I'm sorry... no one, anywhere, in any decade, or any trend of fashion, will look "glam" in this fucking drapery;

If you're bored, and really want to be on the cutting edge, keep searching ebay for one of those VHS thingies, and I'll let you borrow my copy of Animal Chin, and you can learn how real men skateboard... and wear fluorescent colors.